Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Drunk is not a location!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
