well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
