i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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