so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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