at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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