; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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