It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
