you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
is it fun? or sober?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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