Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
