If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
