I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
