Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
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Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
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there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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