im having a threesome with these popsicles
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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