It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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