UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Randomize
