bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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