she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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