I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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