Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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