I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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