The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
