Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize