We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I am one with the molecules
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize