he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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