Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
