Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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