Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
