i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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