At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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