She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
