we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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