I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
