What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
