I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
