i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize