Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
