I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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