He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
