So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize