Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
