he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you traded sex for a burrito?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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