I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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