Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
