Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You ruined the universe
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