It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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