I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize