oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
50% drunk capacity currently
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
