I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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