I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
