He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
