i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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