Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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