Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
