even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
