McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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