It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
