I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.