In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
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i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.