I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz