the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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