I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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