i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
