if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
